Is it stress, or has it become burnout?
Some stress is part of life, and in short bursts it can even help us rise to a challenge. The trouble starts when the pressure never lets up. Stress tends to feel urgent and overwhelming: too much to do, not enough time. Burnout often feels different. It is the point where the tank is empty, and the drive that kept you going has turned into exhaustion, detachment or a sense of “what’s the point?”.
Signs I often hear about include:
- Waking up tired, however long you sleep
- Feeling cynical, flat or disconnected from work you once cared about
- Snapping at people you love, then feeling guilty
- Headaches, frequent colds, digestive problems or tight muscles
- Struggling to switch off, or relying on wine, food or screens to unwind
- Feeling that you are failing on every front, however hard you try
How we end up here
Burnout isn’t only about workload. It tends to build where high demands meet low control, little recognition, or a gap between your values and what you are being asked to do. Caring for children or ageing parents, running a business, juggling a demanding job with menopause symptoms, or supporting a partner through illness can all add up.
Personal patterns matter too. Many of the people I see are conscientious, capable and used to being the one others rely on. They may find it hard to say no, to rest without guilt or to ask for help. Those qualities are strengths, but without boundaries they can quietly wear you down.
Physically, prolonged stress keeps your nervous system in a state of alert. Over time that can affect sleep, digestion, immunity and mood, which is why recovery needs to include the body and not just the mind.
Where counselling meets coaching
My background makes me well placed to help with stress and burnout. Alongside my training as an integrative psychotherapist I hold a Diploma in Life Coaching, and I have run wellbeing workshops for organisations. So our sessions can be both reflective and practical.
On the counselling side, we look beneath the surface at what drives you: old beliefs about worth and productivity, the fear of letting people down, the feelings you have not had time to notice. On the coaching side, we can look at priorities, boundaries and the concrete changes that would make your days more manageable. If you’d like a more forward-focused approach, you can read about my life coaching too.
Throughout, we pay attention to your body. Breath work and simple mindfulness practices can help you step out of constant fight-or-flight and rediscover what calm actually feels like.
Five questions worth asking yourself
- What am I saying yes to that I would really like to say no to?
- When did I last rest without feeling I had to earn it?
- Which parts of my week give me energy, and which drain it?
- What would I tell a close friend who was living my life right now?
- What is one small boundary I could set this week?
There are no right answers. Simply noticing your responses can be the beginning of change, and they are great starting points to bring into a session.
Recovery takes time, and that’s okay
One of the hardest things about burnout is that the qualities that got you here, determination, reliability and pushing on regardless, can make recovery feel frustratingly slow. Many people want to fix it as efficiently as they fix everything else. Part of our work may be learning to treat rest as something necessary rather than something you have to earn.
Recovery rarely means changing everything at once. More often it is a series of small, sustainable adjustments: protecting your sleep, noticing when your body is asking you to stop, reconnecting with activities that bring you joy, and allowing others to share the load. Over time, these changes can help you rebuild energy and rediscover a sense of meaning in the things you do.
Practical details
You can see me in person in Sandhurst, a short drive for anyone looking for support around Camberley, Bracknell or Fleet, or you can fit sessions around a busy schedule by joining online by Zoom from anywhere in the UK. Sessions last 50 minutes and usually run weekly at first, with regular reviews.
If stress is linked to your working life, you are welcome to bring that fully into the room. Nothing is too small or too “ordinary” to talk about.
Let’s start with a conversation
If you recognise yourself here, please don’t wait until you hit a wall. A free discovery call is a chance to talk through what’s happening and decide whether working together feels right. Book your free call and we can take it from there.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to be off work to benefit from burnout counselling?
Not at all. Many people come while still working, and counselling can help you make changes before things reach crisis point. If you are signed off, sessions can support your recovery and return.
Is this counselling or coaching?
It can be both. I am trained in integrative counselling and life coaching, so we can explore the deeper roots of your stress and also work on practical changes, depending on what you need.
Can you help my team or workplace as well?
Yes. I run mental health awareness training and wellbeing workshops for organisations, in person or on Zoom, and offer a free initial consultation to discuss what would suit your team.