When worry starts running the show
Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek counselling, and it rarely looks the same twice. For some it is a constant background hum of “what if?”. For others it arrives suddenly, as a racing heart, a wave of heat or a feeling that something terrible is about to happen. Many people seem fine on the outside, holding down a job and looking after everyone else, while inside they feel on edge most of the time.
You might recognise some of these:
- A busy mind that replays conversations or rehearses worst-case scenarios, especially at night
- Physical signs such as tension in the shoulders or jaw, shallow breathing, a churning stomach or disturbed sleep
- Irritability, difficulty concentrating or feeling constantly tired
- Avoiding situations, people or places because the anxiety feels easier to manage that way
- Panic attacks, or a fear of having one
- Needing reassurance, checking things repeatedly or finding it hard to make decisions
Why anxiety happens (and why it isn’t a weakness)
Anxiety is, at heart, a protective system doing its job a little too enthusiastically. When your brain senses a threat, your body prepares to fight, flee or freeze: your heart speeds up, your breathing quickens and your muscles tense. That response is useful when you need to step out of the way of a car. It is far less helpful when it fires in a meeting, in the supermarket or as you lie awake at 3am.
There is rarely a single cause. Long periods of stress, difficult experiences earlier in life, big transitions, health worries, relationship strain and hormonal changes can all play a part. Some people have simply learned, often from a very young age, that staying alert kept them safe. Life events can also pile up quietly: a new baby, caring for a parent, a house move or a change at work may each seem manageable, yet together they can leave your nervous system with very little room to settle. Understanding where your anxiety comes from is not about blame. It is about making sense of it, so it feels less mysterious and more manageable.
How I work with anxiety
I am an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist, which means I draw on humanistic, psychodynamic and cognitive perspectives rather than a single fixed method. With anxiety, that usually means working on three levels at once, which is the thinking behind my Heart Mind Body approach.
- Heart: making space for the feelings underneath the worry, and exploring the experiences and relationships that may have shaped it.
- Mind: noticing anxious thought patterns, gently questioning them and finding more balanced ways of seeing things.
- Body: as a qualified yoga teacher, I bring in simple breath and body-awareness practices that help settle your nervous system, so you have something practical to use between sessions.
We go at your pace. Some people want tools quickly; others need time to talk before anything else. Both are fine. If anxiety has crept in around perimenopause or menopause, you may also find my menopause support page helpful, as hormonal changes can have a real effect on mood and sleep.
Sessions in Sandhurst or online
I offer anxiety counselling in Sandhurst, at my practice in Berkshire, which is easy to reach if you are looking for a counsellor near Camberley, Crowthorne, Yateley or Wokingham. If leaving the house feels like a big step right now, or you live further away, online anxiety therapy by Zoom works well for many people across the UK. Research suggests online therapy can be as effective as meeting in person, and for some anxious clients being in their own familiar space makes it easier to open up.
Sessions last 50 minutes and usually take place weekly, with regular reviews so we can check that our work together is helping.
Small things you can try today
Counselling is not the only thing that helps. These simple ideas can take the edge off while you decide what support you need:
- Lengthen your out-breath. Breathing in for a count of four and out for a count of six can signal to your body that it is safe to slow down.
- Name it. Quietly saying “this is anxiety” can create a little distance between you and the feeling.
- Move. A walk, a stretch or shaking out your hands helps use up the energy your body has prepared for action.
- Limit the fuel. Too much caffeine, alcohol or late-night scrolling can keep your system on high alert.
I have written more about this in my blog post on managing anxiety.
Taking the first step
Reaching out can feel daunting when you are anxious, so I keep the first step simple. We start with a free, no-pressure phone call where you can tell me a little about what is happening and ask anything you like. If it feels right, we agree a time for your first session. You are very welcome to book your free discovery call whenever you are ready.
Frequently asked questions
Can counselling help with panic attacks?
Yes, many people come to counselling because of panic attacks. We look at what tends to trigger them, practise ways to calm your body when one starts, and explore what might be feeding the underlying anxiety.
Will I have to talk about my childhood?
Only if you want to. Sometimes past experiences help make sense of present anxiety, but you stay in charge of what we explore and when.
Is online anxiety therapy as helpful as meeting in person?
Research suggests online therapy can be as effective as in-person work for many people. Some anxious clients find it easier to relax at home, and you can switch between online and Sandhurst sessions if that suits you.
How many sessions will I need?
It varies from person to person. Some people commit to an initial six sessions and then review, while others prefer to work open-ended; we will talk about what feels right for you.